Marriage, Sex and Sexuality 10 - Eph.5:25-30

It’s easy to be conned into thinking that the Bible is heavily stereotyped when it comes to questions of sexuality and gender.  But only if you don’t read it!  In fact, the Scriptures are liberating precisely because they refuse play into the categories of any culture’s preconceptions.  In the Bible, women are soldiers, prophets, monarchs, business leaders; men are poets, embroiderers, cooks, clothes designers, artists.  And vice versa.  The Word of God has always challenged cultural expectations, and consistently cuts across our attempts to label and prejudge.

But liberty can be intimidating.  Perhaps we’d prefer clear ‘rules’ about what it means to be male or female.  Spiritual maturity demands otherwise.  We see the damage done when ‘expectations’ are imposed by others.  Our culture – in spite of all its rhetoric to the contrary - develops clear (if sometimes contradictory) ideals of both masculinity and femininity.  When we don’t ‘fit’ we find ourselves pretending, desperately trying to look, feel and behave as my culture(s) tells me to.  Down this path, crisis lies. 

The Bible holds a perfect balance, poised elegantly between the perennial mistakes of fallen human culture.  It sees us first and foremost as people: unique even in our fallen state.  And yet neither is our being male and female a mere insignificance, still less a fluid social construct.  Our culture relentlessly seeks to conform us to preconceived ideas of masculinity and femininity.  Even so-called ‘progressive’ stereotypes are still stereotypes.  The Bible on the other hand recognises that our being male and female is something of cosmic significance, something primal, and simultaneously manages to avoid labels and superficial typecasting.  Only in Christ are we liberated to be those whom God has redeemed us to be.  It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  We have no cause to be apologetic about the Gospel, and the vision of humanity it holds out.  Too easily do we buy the lie that our culture’s response of self-determination and autonomy is the route to liberty.  It is in fact the road to slavery (John 8:34).  Our culture is the source of good news.  That is only found in the Gospel.

How would you describe our culture’s different stereotypes about being a man or a woman, male or female?  Do you care about such stereotypes?  How as a Christian, do you think we should navigate them?

How would you respond to the oft-quoted idea that ‘women are more spiritual than men’?

Do you think Eph.5:22-30 is guilty of stereotyping?

If someone asked you how Christ loved the Church, how would you answer?

Do you think of your holiness as the purpose of the cross?  What priority does the pursuit of holiness have in your life?  How does that play out? What would you say to a Christian who wasn’t seemingly concerned with being made holy?

How does Jesus make the Church holy?  How would you explain this to a new Christian?

What do you understand by the imagery of head/body in this passage?  What does it mean to speak of the Church as Christ’s body, and of individual Christians as members of Christ’s body?  How does that shape your thinking about being a Christian …and about being part of a Church?

How does Christ ‘feed and care for’ His body, the Church? 

How does Eph.5:25-30 inform your thinking about the institution of marriage?

What responsibilities does this passage put on husbands?  How should it shape the day-to-day experience of married life?  How can MIE support husbands in developing these patterns of behaviour?