10 Commandments / The Seventh Commandment

 

Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

                       (Heb.13:4)

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

(Eph.5:3)

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honourable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

(I Thess.4:3-8)

 

Few of the Ten Commandments struggle to get a hearing like the Seventh.  We’ve seen recently (in our Living in Love and Faith series) that we’re immersed in a culture that sees sexual autonomy as a ‘right’.  To challenge my right is to attack my identity.  It is considered simply inappropriate for anyone else (even God!) to be concerned about what I do in the privacy of my own bedroom, with my own body… and with the body of another consenting adult.  From our culture’s perspective, nowhere is the Bible seen as more repressive, dangerous and hateful, than in its sexual ethics.  Christians in the UK are living through times in which sexual aberrations are normalised, marketed and championed, whilst God’s vision for human flourishing is made to look puerile, obscene and cruel. 

Quite apart from the odd inconsistency of those who demand as a right their own sexual freedom and fulfilment whilst still denying others theirs (paedophilia, bestiality, rape and incest are amongst those sexual identities still deemed inappropriate), we are left asking profound questions about the reality of adultery.  In spite of its being glamourized by the likes of Ashley-Maddison.com (with tagline: Life is short, have an affair; and in excess of 30 million subscribers), anyone who has witnessed the devastating effects of an affair up close are unlikely to believe the hype.  It destroys people, families and societies.  Indeed, they might wonder if God knew what He was talking about after all!

We are likely familiar with the realisation that marriage reflects the covenant fealty of Christ for His people, the Church.  His faithfulness is the most fundamental reason for His prohibition on unfaithfulness in marriage.   His love for His bride and His jealousy over her heart’s affections calls us to sexual purity as much as spiritual purity.  The link between sexual and spiritual fidelity is replete in Scripture, as is the imagery linking adultery and idolatry (Ezek.6:9).  Even the most cursory reading of Scripture alerts us to the fact that God treats our sexual behaviour – as He does all aspects of our discipleship - as a matter of public concern.   Our sexuality is a gift from God (e.g. Song 1:2-4).  There is little disputing its power for good and for ill.  Christ knows our vulnerability and calls for a purity of heart that resists unfaithfulness in heart and mind, as well as in body. Wisdom cautions against it (Prov.6:20-35); the Law dictates against it (Lev.20:10 etc.); the Prophets rail against it (Jer.5:7; Mal.2:14 etc.); example warns us to flee it (II Sam.11).  Sexual unfaithfulness – at whatever level of our being it is committed - is a spiritual desecration (I Cor.6:13); an abuse of an image-bearer, a treason against the family.  We are all mandated to honour marriage and those who are married, to nurture them and find joy in their sexual union.

In fewer areas of life is the destructive reality of sin more evident (or more strenuously denied) than in the arena of sexual infidelity.  And in fewer areas can it be more of a struggle to believe the claim of the Lord our God to teach what is best for us (Is.48:17).  In fewer areas will we feel more acutely out of step with our culture.  In fewer areas will the battle for faith rage more fiercely: Are the laws of God ‘good’ (Ps.119:39; Rom.7:12)?  Do I delight in those laws (Ps.119:77)?  Do I lie awake at night thinking about how grateful I am that in His wisdom and grace He has revealed to us His vision for our life (Ps.119:62)?  In the final analysis, we fight sinful desire with more than the attempt to subdue it.  We need a greater desire, and purer desire, and more compelling desire.  Only as our delight in our vision of God becomes all-consuming will it eclipse and drive out the desires of our fallen hearts for pale imitations of intimacy and acceptance.

Questions

Why is polygamy tolerated in the Bible in a way that adultery isn’t?

 

Why are people willing to disregard other areas of the Bible’s sexual ethics, but still seek to uphold its prohibition on adultery?

 

After his adultery with Bathsheba, and the subsequent murder of Uriah, why does David then say: Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight (Ps.51:4)?

 

Read Deut.5:18 & Matt.5:27-30

In what ways are the covenants between Christ and the Church, and between a husband and a wife similar… and dissimilar?  In such an analogy, what does sex represent?

 

Do you think God can forgive someone who commits adultery?  What does forgiveness mean / not mean in this context?  Why does Jesus warn of hell (lit: gehenna) in this passage?

 

How would you pastorally support someone who addicted to pornography, or who habitually read erotic literature?   Do you think such practises are a violation of Jesus’ teaching, and of the Seventh Commandment?

 

In what ways are ungodly sexual practises normalised in our culture?  How, as Christians, can we guard ourselves against being seduced by our culture’s view of sexual behaviour?   Where does cultural influence stop, and personal responsibility begin?

 

Is Jesus’ teaching in the Sermon on the Mount realistic?  In what sense is it to be taken literally? …and in what sense is it to be taken metaphorically?  How should it be applied by us today?

 

Catechism:

318. What is adultery?

Adultery is any sexual intimacy between persons not married to each other, at least one of whom is married to another. (Lev.20:10; Rom.7:2–3)

319. What did Jesus teach about adultery?

Jesus taught that even to look at another person with lust violates this commandment. Adultery begins with a lustful heart, but the Lord calls us to be chaste. (Matt.5:27–30)

320. What does it mean for you to be chaste?

Whether I am married or single, it means I will love and honour others as image bearers of God, not as objects of lust and sexual gratification, and I will refrain from all sexual acts outside of marriage. (Prov.6:25–28; Phil.4:8; 1 Thess.4:3–7)

321. How do you benefit from chastity?

Chastity establishes wise and godly boundaries that enable me to give freely of myself in friendship, avoid difficulty in marriage, and experience the freedom of integrity before God. (Gen.39:19–23; Prov.11:5–6; Matt.5:8; 1 Cor.7:25–40)

322. What is marriage?

Marriage is the exclusive, lifelong, covenantal union of love between one man and one woman, and a reflection of the faithful love that unites God and his people. Marriage is therefore holy and should “be held in honour among all.” (Heb.13:4; see also Gen.2:18–24; Matt.19:4–6; Eph.5:21–33)

323. Why did God ordain marriage?

God ordained marriage for the procreation of children to be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; for a remedy against sin and to avoid sexual immorality; for mutual friendship, help, and comfort, both in prosperity and in adversity; and for the benefit of family, church, and society. (Gen.1:28; 2:18; Deut.6:4–9; 24:5; Ps.127:3–5; Prov.31:10–12; 1 Cor.7:2–5)

324. Why does God forbid adultery?

Adultery is a sin against one’s spouse or spouse-to-be; against the sexual partners with whom it is committed; against their children, family, and friends; against human society by undermining the institution of marriage; and against God, in whose Name marriage vows are made. (Prov.5; Mal.2:13–16)

329. How else is the seventh commandment broken?

Violations of this law include sexual harassment and abuse, rape, incest, paedophilia, bestiality, same-sex sexual acts, prostitution, pornography, and any other form of lust in thought, word, or deed. (Lev.18:6–30; Rom.1:24–28)