Families, Church & Discipleship (ii) Deut.6:1-12
But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”
(Josh.24:15)
Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord.
(Ps.34:11)
Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God.
(Ps.22:9-10)
I brought you up out of Egypt and led you forty years in the wilderness ... I also raised up prophets from among your children and Nazirites from among your youths.
(…taken from Amos 2:10-11)
Children are capable of far more spiritually than we tend to think. A moment or two’s reflection on Scripture would be enough to teach us that (think of John the Baptist, testifying to Christ whilst still in the womb, Lk.1:44!). They are consistently assumed to be enquiring about the things of God (e.g. Josh.4:6), and to be involved in the teaching and worshipping life of God’s people (e.g. Josh.8:35). And there is a constant expectation that they are being taught what it means to be part of the people of God. The classic text is, of course, Deut.6:6-9, but as we’ll see in the next couple of weeks, this is a refrain that echoes throughout the Bible. Even in Deuteronomy it is repeated. Just a couple of chapters earlier we read:
And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today? Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”
Deut.4:8-10
The picture that emerges is one of an immersive environment, a culture that is oriented towards growth in understanding and response to a developing vision of who God is, and all that He has done for us as His people. They are surrounded by examples of people who themselves love the Lord their God, and who have the Law of God written on their hearts (Dt.6:5-6). Surrounded by adults who are characterised by such discipleship themselves, children are stimulated to constant questioning (Dt.6:20), interaction (Dt.6:8) and discussion (Dt.6:7; 11:18-19) about what they see and hear. The things of God will be the constant theme of the home, naturally surfacing in the rhythms and routines of day-to-day life. Moses anticipates children and grandchildren (Dt.6:2) being caught up in a multi-sensory, lived experience of discipleship formation simply by being part of a covenant family, who are themselves oriented around the life of the Church family.
And hopefully it goes without saying that Deuteronomy isn’t advocating a dry intellectualism, or a Pharisaism that focusses on behaviour whilst ignoring motives. The goal is the cultivation of ‘the fear of the Lord’ (Dt.6:2 & 24). Parents (& grand-parents) are expected to be in a position to answer questions (Dt.6:21), to decorate the home with visual reminders of God’s vision for life (Dt.6:9; 11:20), and to create a spiritual legacy that their children, and so the Church of future generations, will benefit from (e.g. Dt.5:29; 12:28; 30:19-20).
This has always been God’s ‘strategy’. But even if we accept this is what the Bible in fact teaches, such a vision can easily feel overwhelming. We may feel massively underqualified. Our experience of Church, our being shaped by cultural norms, our experience and fear might all feel stacked against us. On the other side of the scales is our faith in the wisdom and goodness of God; the promise of the Spirit to help us as we seek to structure Church and family life in a way that resonates with His vision; a Church that can support, resource and encourage us. If we don’t feel qualified, then how, as a Church can we help that? Our job is to ‘to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature...’ (Eph.4:12-13). If that isn’t happening (which would seem to be the case if parents don’t feel able to, or supported in discipling their children) then we have significant questions to ask about our wider ministry and fellowship. But perhaps that is for another time...
Questions
How would you measure the health and effectiveness of a spiritual culture ...in a family? ... in a Church? How would you cultivate and develop such a culture?
In what ways can family life and even, children themselves become idols? How would that affect our ability to raise (grand-)children in the ways of the Lord? How could MIE help people to recognise this, and to repent of it?
For those to whom it applies: When we look back on our own childhood, how were we helped or hindered by our families, and by our Churches, as we grew as Christians? What lessons can we bring to today’s Church in the light of our own experiences?
Read Deut.6:1-12
How realistic is it for a family to function in this way in our own culture? Is it harder for families to be ‘Christian’ now than it was a generation ago? ...and for children / y.p. to be Christians now than a generation ago? Why / why not?
What is the fear of the Lord? How does it connect with ‘keeping all His decrees and commands’ (Dt.6:2)? How does it connect with ‘love’ (Dt.6:5)?
Why do we find it so difficult to talk about the commands of the LORD with each other and with our children? How is this different from teaching them Bible stories? What sort of conversations do you think Moses envisages parents and grand-parents having with children in their midst?
What does it mean to ‘impress’ the commands of the Lord on children (Dt.6:7)? What should be our attitude to Christian discipleship as compared to other demands on our, and on our children’s time and energy?
What does it mean to ‘tie them as symbols on your hands, and bind them to your foreheads (Dt.6:8)?
What is the idea behind writing the commands of the Lord on the door-frames of our houses, and on our gates (Dt.6:9)?
Memory Passage:
Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.
Deut.11:18-21
Going Deeper:
We noted last week the devastating loss of 0-16 yr olds the Church has experienced in the UK over the last half century. That in itself should be enough to make us stop and ask deep questions of the way we have sought to evangelise and disciple this demographic in recent decades. To be fair, even when children’s and youth ministry has been a factor, the key issue has always been the spiritual leadership of parents. The ramifications looking forward are fairly harrowing. But as we stand in this moment of fragility, we have an unprecedented opportunity to reclaim a more Biblically-inspired model of family and of Church family.
The two are of course, deeply interconnected. If we are right, that the purpose of ‘nuclear’ families is to train constructive and contributing members of the Church family, then trying to fix ‘Church ministry’ in order to strengthen children’s and youth work is to address the question backwards. If we are to think forwards, we will have to make our decisions based not on the fear of a godless future, or in order to somehow prop up a failing Church. Still less will we re-iterate our own fears and insecurities as parents. We remember that children are first and foremost the Lord’s before they are ours, and we will work hard to ensure that we are best placed to fulfil our stewardship of their growth and development. We are mandated to bring them up for Him, and to be consecrated to His service. We have a holy trust to not just ‘keep them in Church’, but to inspire a deep, spiritual growth that prepares them for a lifetime of following Christ. We’ll start to unpack how that works in next week’s study.
